Where the truth lies

WARNING: Very gruesome details upcoming. JoJo, do NOT read past this sentence!




Recently, I have been getting mental images  of my toenails being ripped off. Every single moment I'm not completely occupied with something else, I'm thinking of my poor toenails. This has been plaguing me for one week, for no apparent reason. All of a sudden, one day, I just thought of my toenails being ripped off, and it stuck. I had better overcome this mental ... thing... or I might just have to do something drastic to stop it, because it makes me cringe! And by drastic, I mean probably taping my toes so they do not feel exposed. Whatever.

Is it a bad thing that I almost felt like crying during the documentary in World Issues? I don't think it is, but it is frustrating nonetheless. I can't see how it is possible that all these people can turn a blind eye to what they're doing and ignore the inevitable consequences that will be the ruin of millions of people. I just don't. Ignorance is one thing, but blindness is another.

On another note, I found this terrific university. It is completely devout to geoscience, which includes environmental sustainability and culture. It is located in a beautiful town called Edinburgh. However, it's in Scotland. Yup. A whole ocean away. It is the founding school for geoscience and looks very promising. But I don't know. My biggest fear would be going there and not being able to understand what the profs would be saying due to heavy Scottish accents, then I would be lost and I'd fail and waste thousands of dollars. And getting lost, that would be bad too.

But SCOTLAND?!

Wow.

From now on I am going to record every single dream I have for a year, what I ate for dinner before going to sleep, and the time I go to bed. This, I hope, will not only help me remember them all in the future, but to also see if there are any connections between the dreams I have and the time and meal.

It's like a science experiment! Exciting. Please remind me to do this, people!

I haven't had a storm dream in a while. Good. I do not like those ones. Nor do I like the alien ones, but I already had one of those this week. I think I ate chocolate the night before, but I forget because I didn't write it down. I will stop eating chocolate regardless.

Who's to say who's right or wrong, whose course is braver run. Still we are, have always been, will ever be as one. What is done has been done for the best, though the mist in my eyes might suggest just a little confusion about what I'd lose. But if I started over, I know I would chose this same joy, this same sadness each step of the way, that fought me and taught me, that friends never say goodbye.
Never say goodbye.

To think that in a year everything that was once so pure and so right will be put all out of natural order; it is a frightening ordeal. I never remembered being this anxious about anything before, about losing so many things that I consider to be very, VERY close to my heart. It feels so rushed, one minute you're a child, the next an adult, making your own decisions on your own terms. It's such an amazing, terrible feeling, and I'm torn between just accepting it, and setting the feeling off for just a while longer. I fear that if I accept these facts, that I will lose something great and never get it back. That it all will be over. What it is that will end, I have no clue, but I have this feeling in my gut that tells me that the years to come will be among the hardest, best, and worst times of my life.

I can only hope that battles of years past will not leave scars too deep to forget. I hope that things will be as they are in months, even years, between those whom I rank high as my very dear friends. I was asked a while back if I believed in one true "soul-mate." I responded that no, there was no way that love could be that close-minded, and that there may be no such thing as a "one-and-only." I have proof of this, and I think that the friends I stick with are my true "soul-mates."  Who said that term "soul-mate" had to have a romantic meaning? I interpret it as some one or some people whom you love honestly, and you know they love you in return. They are people who know you, and can be close with without holding up borders caused by shame and anxiety. They are people who feel like you can't live without, but prepare you to do just that. They are teachers, companions, family members, and students.

In short, my belief is that I should trust in the future, and whatever it may hold, for there is something to gain from every moment lived. We can only learn more about ourselves from listening to the present, looking toward the future, and reminiscing on the past. I hope that we can remain as we are, as we were, when we said "forever" like it meant "tomorrow", and teach each other how to learn from, live and accept all those obstacles life so enjoys throwing at us. It does not have to be now or here, but some day, somewhere, out of the blue, these times will help us to just be. Be as we wish in the long run.

And my final wish is that no matter how long we go without seeing one another, that you will not forget me, because I know I shall never forget you. My soul-mates.

(I am under the knowledge that this shpeel would be better suited for maybe the end of the year, but whatever. I was thinking about it now, and didn't want to forget. It's too late to get some fries)

Ma head's 'bout te 'splode!
Alllllllllll over! It will make a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mess because of all the brain matter and bits of skull. Like from MI3 when they shot the mini bomb up Tom Cruise's nose into his brain! AND THEN HE HAD TO KILL HIMSELF TO LIVE!!!
T'was quite the film.

FM-freaking-A's new season (well not really new season because it's already been done like, 5 years ago and they just started over, so I guess it's more like a... what's the word... I can't quite recall because I am too freaking happy and nothing else computes right now!) has FINALLY come out and I watched the first episode and and and and and and I think I just died of happiness a little inside. It's not in the beautiful voice of Vic Mignogna, because it's so new, but once he does voice it I shall WATCH IT AGAIN!
I think I almost bit off my finger watching it, it's late and I couldn't stop myself from hyperventilating because HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY but whatever, I would lose a finger to watch it any day. Sigh. Me can die happy now ^.^

FELLOW FMA FREAKS,  http://www4.funimation.com/video/?page=video&v=1832  , THAT IS ALL!

I hate jellyfish.

The end!

  I watched about 20 episodes of Supernatural. I heart Dean's smexyness and his humorous outlook on serious matters, but deep down he's a good guy (like how he was with Lucas, so cute!) and he's afraid of flying, which is adorable. I heart Sam's dimples and innocence, even though he probably did dirty things with Jessica before she, yeah, you know... When he started getting those headaches, I kept thinking, Oi! It's Harry Potter!
I think Meg is an awesome antagonist, she's really cool. The series is friggin' scary though, especially that Wendigo episode, the scarecrow episode, and the Bloody Mary episode. After I watched the Bloody Mary episode I had to go to work, and when I was at work, I was cleaning the bathrooms, and wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't scared, so I looked into the mirror and said, "Bloody Mary, bloody Mary, bloody Mary." and then immediately afterwards thought, dear god, why did I do that?! Then did not stop checking over my shoulder for the rest of my shifts.
The only problem I have with the series is that in almost every episode there is a sexy girl, and I'm like damn it, how does anyone compete with that?
I made cards and partied it up, worked, got a haircut, worked on some paintings, and played video games and even *gasp* worked out a little! Somewhat of a productive break, which is good... It made it seem longer, and never will I ever have an energy drink ever again. Nothing happened that was cool, and I stayed awake until almost 6:00 AM because my body refused to fall asleep... and that really sucks.

I am sick of it. Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick siiiick of it. it is the second most frustrating thing to watch, you know. And I can't have a say in the matter because it's not about me. But I do have an opinion, and it's not a nice one.
Please don't hate me after this, I really love you!

Whatever happened to...? Why did this happen...? Why can't it go back to normal...? Things will never be the same, and you know that is so tragic. Truly I tell you that to punish the uninformed is cruel. Just because HE was a douche bag doesn't earn YOU or HER the pain of losing a friend. Is he that important now that a relationship is worth destroying? She had no idea of the thing you kept hidden for months, kept hidden from everyone because HE said so. I'm proud that you could end it as soon as you did; he didn't trust her strength. But she does NOT deserve the cold shoulder. I have lost a few incredible friends, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think,... SHIT! I mean, really. I know it really must suck, that he can go public with her easily without worrying about your feelings, but she can't control what he does. I know we all wish we could control what some people do, but that - unfortunately - is highly improbable. Think over her situation, and think of what you would have done, what you have done. I am not by any means wise, but even I can see this is getting ridiculous.
Ultimatums blow hard, at least some.

AND YOU! YOU MADE THE BIGGEST DICK MOVE OF THE CENTURY, DICK WAD! You should count yourself lucky that she even talks to you still. You should have been slapped continually for a good five hours without a word of complaint for what you put her through, and trust me, if anything half as bad as that happens again, you will be! If not by me then by someone else or numerous people. I gave the same warning to Kris, and I pulled him halfway across a table to enforce the warning. You have not seen me mad. I can hurt people, and I am strong, despite what you may or may not think.

Finally, you. You you you you you. You didn't tell me, and I don't think you intended to for a good long while. Though that is all water under the bridge, you must understand why I did not read the signs sooner. First of all, you said you held hands in front of me. Actually, you held hands in my presence, behind me. Also, I did not read that text message fully, and from what I read it sounded like a typical Josh text, and since you had not told me that you were together, that is what I assumed it was. I trust you to tell me things because you almost always do, that is why I was upset at the beginning. Finally, it's JOSH, and he said he would NEVER date because it causes awkward situations and stress. Well isn't that completely controversial? That is exactly what he said, so he is the last person I'd expect to see dating not one, but TWO of my best friends. What he is doing is so completely out of character I at first was almost shocked. I'm still a little shocked, but whatever. Water under the bridge, as I said.

This situation somewhat reminds me of an episode of Friends. Joey walks in on his girlfriend and best friend, Chandler, kissing. Joey forfeits his friendship with Chandler. Chandler tries and tries to earn Joey's forgiveness, but Joey refuses to give it. Seeking comfort from his new girlfriend, Chandler talks with her about his situation with Joey. She offers the usual advice, and holds his hand. Meanwhile, Joey contemplates giving Chandler another chance, and walks in on him kissing his (now ex) girlfriend again and his anger is renewed. Chandler runs down to Joey's apartment and again begs for forgiveness, and Joey reminds him of all the times he has been a good friend, including a story of when he had to hide in a box for hours when his house was being robbed to make sure Chandler didn't walk in during the heist. Chandler offers to sit in a box for as long as Joey wants if it means his forgiveness. Joey accepts, and Chandler promptly gets in a box and waits. A few hours go by, and during dinner Chandler makes a few comments and Joey says that he isn't taking the task seriously, and says that Chandler must not say a word until he says so. Eventually, Joey's ex-girlfriend - now Chandler's girlfriend - walks into the apartment, and timidly asks if she can speak with Chandler. Joey begrudgingly accepts and sits by as she crouches by the box. Remorsefully, she tells Chandler that she wouldn't want to ruin a friendship that's been years in the making. She breaks up with Chandler, and Chandler never says a word the whole time. As ex- girlfriend exits, Joey looks at Chandler's box and says, "Aw, go and get her!" and after asking if he's forgiven - which he is - Chandler jumps out of the box and runs to find his girlfriend before she leaves the city.

Happy endings? One can only hope.

Through thick and thin to all, Heather
(ps. please do not hold this against me, I really love you guys!)

I want a clear face, but I don't want deformed babies.
Mon drugs nes travailles pas. I suck at french, that's probably not right.
zZzZzZzZzZ   hahah it looks like a bunch of big 7's and a lot of little 7's underlined, but it's really a bunch of capitol and little z's.
I love that one episode of Friends where Joey takes Rachel on a date and Phoebe plays Mrs. Pacman. It's probably one of my favourite episodes, but I also like the Chandler-in-a-box episode. Eetz funneh. I wish I worked at the Office. it looks like one massive party, Pam is hilarious now and not so much in that awkward way, and Jim? I love Jim, he's soooo funny and soooo cute. Dwight Schrute, now that's a character I would die if I met (in real life). Michael Scott is just... Yeah. He's supa funny! And Angela? HA!
FIRE: *Blazing!*
OSCAR: *Jumps through roofing into air vents*
ANGELA: Oscar help me up!
OSCAR: NO you are too heavy!
ANGELA: I'm 85 lbs!
OSCAR: *Runs away*
ANGELA: Then, save Bandit! *Throws cat into the hole in the roof*
BANDIT: REAOW!!!  *Falls through roof on other side*
BWUAHAHAAAA that was an epic episode. She kept her cat in a cabinet! And she just takes it out when the fire alarm goes off.

Man, I luuurves the Office. But me has to go shower now. XD XD XD XD
*singing in the showweeerrrr, ladeedadeedaaaay*